Aleusia
by luminarui
Summary: As high ranked warlock, Kayza lived her life with a cursed sight: blind and sightless, but for the visions that torment her. But as her dreams grow steadily more insistent, she decides to seek out an old friend...  my first fic, so pleez b nice :
1. prologue

**Lumi: I don't own Mortal Instruments. **

**When you start to read you might be wondering WTF? but it will make sense later. Yeah, it might not seem to have anything to do with Mortal Instruments, but again, it will make sense later! So yeah...anyway, pleez review...:)**

_She was alone again._

_The darkness surrounded her, engulfing her in its grasp. It was the same every time, always the same awful pain that clutched at her, always the same pressure in the air that choked the breath from her lungs. She collapsed, letting out a whimper, knowing what came next._

_Visions and memories flooded through her head, memories that were not entirely hers._

_A man and a woman, screaming. A bird, falling, falling from the sky. The whispers of a dying girl. The sounds of gunfire. So much screaming, so much noise. _

"_Stop." She sobbed, pleaded. Her voice shook. "Please, stop."_

_But as She watched, their faces melded into one twisted mural of smiles and teeth leering down at her as their emaciated limbs reached for her face. _

_Their voices chimed as one._

"_You will save us."_

"_No, no. Stop."_

"_Kayza, the one who will end it all…_

_We need it from you...for all of us."_

"_Stop!" she screamed, clutching her head._

"_Your time will come…Kayza." the voices, unrelenting, took on a harsher tone. "Do not betray us…"_

_More whispers. "Kayza. Kayza." "Kayza, we were waiting for so long…" "Kayza, Kayza, Kayza."_

"_Don't go yet, Kayza." _

_Her head swam as she stifled yet another cry, knowing that no one could hear._

"_We need a sacrifice, Kayza. You are that sacrifice."_

_Kayza, for all of us, Kayza._

_Their pleas became increasingly menacing and desperate, until she could no longer hear their words at all, only her name, over and over._

_But one voice drowned the others out._

"_My dear child, you should have listened to me." _

_She turned, at the melodic sound of her voice, and saw her face, so beautiful, yet so terrible, and found herself wishing she had. _

_~o_0o

Kayza awoke screaming. Covered in sweat with her heart still pounding, she gulped for air. She paused, face scrunched up in deep thought as she tried to relive the visions while shutting out what happened after, the warped faces, the voices….no. She shuddered. The visions, focus on the visions. _That girl…. no, impossible…_

"Another nightmare?"

There was a gentle smirk in his voice. Startled, she turned head head to face him.

"Elysias is dead."

He inhaled sharply in disbelief. There was a heavy silence as they both struggled to comprehend the weight of her statement.

"Damn it. The council really is falling apart. How could…?"

"She was killed. Murdered." her tone sounded dead, flat, even to her ears.

His footsteps resonated on the ground as he walked closer. Only when he laid a hand on her shoulder did she realize she was shaking.

Belamor. He was a mess of skinny limbs and dark humor, but he was useful. And charming too, she admitted.

"We need to see Magnus. In New York" she decided with finality.

He shifted in surprise.

"Why?" He sounded so genuinely puzzled, that not for the first time, she wished she could have seen his expression. But those cursed dreams were the only sight she had.

"Idiot, this involves all of us. The messages are getting stronger, more insistent. We can't stop this forever. As an Authority, I –"

"I know, Kayza" he sighed in frustration. "We'll leave tomorrow."

She laid a hand on his cheek and smiled inwardly at his response.

"Kayza? Wha- OW!" he exclaimed as she struck him across the face.

She feigned seriousness and proclaimed "You are a criminal, Belamor. A defector, and you _will_ show me the proper respect. Never forget that."

"Yes, Ma'am." he replied, with barely concealed laughter.


	2. what words can't say

**Lumi: Yay, second chapter...Yeah, so I decided to write about whats going on w/ Magnus this time, and warning: drama, and mooshy stuff! lol, I luv this couple...Kayza and etc. will show up later :)**

**Am I sposed to do a disclaimer? i dunno... anyway i dont own any part of the awesome world cassandra clare created. so there.**

Magnus let out an exasperated sigh as he wandered through the empty streets of Brooklyn. Rain was trickling down from the black sky, almost as if they were the tears he had held back for so long. He had never felt so alone. _Immortality. _So many sought after it, but few understood what it truly meant. For him it had always been a curse, a life of loneliness, watching as others around him faded away one by one.

"Alec" he whispered into the empty night. "I'm so sorry."

Sorry for being different, sorry for being so undeserving, sorry for the past and the heart-wrenching future he knows will come. Can they really face all this together? Perhaps they would be better apart.

Magnus turned abruptly and started home, each step heavy in his heart, knowing that eventually everything they had would fall to pieces. _Alec_. He loved him, and knew that their bond was strong and true, but even that could be destroyed by the merciless onslaught of time.

"Immortality." he murmured with disgust, casting his eyes upwards. "Why must it be this way, always?" Lost in his soliloquies, he did not notice the approaching figure.

"Talking to yourself, Magnus?" Alec spoke in monotone, his face a controlled mask of indifference.

Magnus raised his gaze to meet the glare of those brilliant blue eyes- eyes that were filled with pain and overwhelming emotion, the only sign in those perfectly sculpted features that betrayed what he really felt.

"Alec?" Magnus inquired, "What are you doing out so late? You should –"

"I am a Shadowhunter! I do not need to be told what I should or should not do" Alec interjected coldly, eyes flashing with indignation.

Magnus smiled to himself, although there really was nothing to smile about. Even cold and wet, with his dark locks plastered to his face by the rain, Alec was a beautiful sight to him.

"Alec, I..." _I'm so sorry_ was what he wanted to say, but faltered as Alec turned away. Both stood silently, not knowing what to do.

With each second ticking away like a blade sawing deeper and deeper, Magnus began to lose hope. He was about to walk away, when Alec finally spoke. There was a raw desperation in his voice, a need to be comforted.

"Magnus, I- I don't know what to do anymore. There's no future for us, nothing we can do, but I still find myself thinking of you every moment."

Magnus listened silently with closed eyes, knowing exactly what he meant.

"You've told me that we can hope, that we can do our best, but what use is it if that's all we can do?" Alec was trembling, still unable to look Magnus in the eyes. "I…I love you, Magnus. But I can't stay with you, only to know that someday we'll be torn apart." Rain, or perhaps tears were streaming down the dark-haired Shadowhunter's face as he began to shout, "Someday, will I just be another name, another face? Do I even matter to you?"

He couldn't contain himself any longer. Magnus stepped forward, wrapping the Shadowhunter in his thin arms although thinking he would be pushed away, but Alec only clutched at him with a desperate need, shaking as he held him tightly.

"Alexander Lightwood." He whispered. "I know I've said this many times, but that will never take away the truth of it." He raised his voice, heavy with emotions, above the roar of the impending storm. "You are the most important thing that has ever happened to me. In all of my eight hundred years, I have never met anybody that has made me feel the same way that you do, Alec." His voice dropped, and when he spoke again, his voice had a new vulnerability to it. "Don't ever think that you don't matter to me, because honestly, you're the one thing I can't live without." With no further words to say, he brought his gloved hand up to stroke Alec's cheek, as he leaned in and pressed their lips together.

His lips trembled as they touched, hesitant at first, as they swayed to the rhythm of the rain in each other's embrace. It was a gentle kiss, soft and slow, but bittersweet all the same.

As their mouths finally parted, Magnus bent down to murmur the words he had wanted to say for so long.

"_Let's go home, Alec. Please_."


End file.
